they need to just BURY HIM!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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