The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
