also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
