He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
