She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i think i have herpe
just one?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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