I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
