You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
