I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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