Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
