i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize