idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
