He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
