ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
