Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Still dying that you shit outside
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize