Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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