I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize