Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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