Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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