I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
