Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize