He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
