Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
