I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
