"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she smelled like a LAN party
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
