My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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