So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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