so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
