Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
