Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize