I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize