doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
