How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
