Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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