I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
