ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
