oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
