what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
