My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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