dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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