I am spending my child support on dildos
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize