Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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