just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
