Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
