just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
