Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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