Whod you bang
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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