Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I will be naked everywhere
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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