we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
