she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
