dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
