My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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