What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
