They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
