I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Randomize
