I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
