My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
