that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
My life is pants optional.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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