I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
