To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
