You smell like a Billy Joel song
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
17 year olds will be the death of me.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
