Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize