If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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