I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
