he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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