i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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