Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize