I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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