As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
