But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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