hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
