just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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