What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My butt remains clenched, sir.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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