She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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