I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize