Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
