Who wears a wallet chain?!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
