nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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