remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
