dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
