all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
