There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm determined to sit on that face.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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