We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize