Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
