she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
