3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
why do cheetos always look like penises
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
