considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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