What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
