Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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