garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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