I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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