STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
